God, first off thank you for helping me gain those 4 extra pounds since I’ve been here in Florida.

My boobs are finally looking super-awesome-great in my bathing suit. Perhaps this is my karmic payback for diligently breastfeeding Layla - who, in a one year drinking frenzy, left them looking like tiny meat flaps. I am forever grateful for those four extra pounds.

But I have another favor.

I’m going on a blind date with my mother’s hairdresser in a few days. A male hairdresser God. Male hairdressers are usually very stylish God.

And I would really, really, REALLY love to have one of these bags from Elsewares.

I’m not picky God. I’ll take the clutch or the handbag. If you want me to have one of each, that’s fine too God. That’s why I’m showing them all to you. I adore all of your inspired creations equally.

And while I’m here praying… can you also please not give me any period breakouts before my date? Or bad hair. And please help my contacts go in easily so my eyes aren’t red.

Thank you God.

Amen.

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On my plate - yes.

On my clothes and accessories - lovin’ it.

And one of you hot Betty’s obviously shares my lust for fish on clothes, because you snapped up that goldfish tunic I recommended last week, before I could blink an eye.

So for you Doll - and all the other fish chicks out there - I’m paying homage to one more of our water breathing brethren.

This sac is by Bonspiel Creations another super Canadian designer.

It’s leather… completely handmade… and that color is hot.

Those clutches are ringa-ding-dinging my bell too.

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1) Paint your nails blood red. No frou-frou pinks. Or tangerines. Just a spicy, rich red. Red nails scream “Hot Betty coming through!”

2) Find out who does the best eyebrows in your city and get yours done there. Ditto for a good set of eyelash extensions.

3) Smile the entire day. Turn up the corners of your mouth, and make it last from the time you walk out the door till you come back. You’ll be amazed at how much lovely attention you get.

4) Compliment at least 3 other people over the course of your day.

5) Sport a Brynn Capella clutch. They’re attention magnets. Good for both day and night. Full of texture and color and originality. Very Sex in the City-ish, without needing the $900 Manolo’s.

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